


I'll Be Good

by CherieoftheDragons (SignCherie)



Series: Saeran [3]
Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Comfort Sex, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, Nightmares, Past Abuse, Porn With Plot, Smut, Vaginal Fingering, mc has a name, past emotional abuse, ray's route spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2019-04-08 03:09:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14095839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SignCherie/pseuds/CherieoftheDragons
Summary: In a terrible nightmare, Saeran dreams himself back at Magenta. When he wakes to MC's warm embrace and words of love, he seeks the comfort of her body.Takes place after Ray's good ending. This fic contains smut. MC's name is Charlotte.(Title changed from "You Had A Nightmare, That's All")





	I'll Be Good

**Author's Note:**

> In preparation for writing Saeran, I have done my best to research Dissociative Identity Disorder, thought control (brainwashing), destructive cults, PTSD, and drug use. It is important to me that I handle these issues with sensitivity and respect. Still, I am human, and I humbly apologize for any mistakes I might make.
> 
> I must thank two wonderful people -- Trulycertain, who has graciously beta'd for me, and Drallak, whose insight made this fic possible.
> 
> I am CherieoftheDragons on tumblr if you want to come find me!
> 
> *Saeran and MC are in a long-term relationship, are free of STIs and using birth control.

Sometimes Saeran knew, even before he fell asleep, that he was going to have nightmares. Having Charlotte’s warm body next to him helped chase the dreams away, but even so, there were nights when he lay awake, assaulted by memories, unable to calm his mind. Those were the nights when sleep took him against his will — and the nightmares came.

Tonight, the dream started with his Savior. She stood before him in her throne room, imperious and regal, looking down on him as he knelt before her. One finger lifted his chin until he was forced to look at her. “Ray. Oh, Ray. Still having these delusions, are you? Still arrogant enough to believe a useless thing like you deserves happiness. My child, you’ve betrayed me. You deserve to be dead.”

He trembled under her gaze, trying hard to remember that she was wrong. “I’m not useless. I’ve done nothing wrong. You — you’re trying to control me. I’m a good person. I am.”

She trailed that finger over his cheek before withdrawing her hand. “Do you think so? Poor Ray. Who put these ideas in your head?”

Charlotte’s face flickered through his mind, but he said nothing.

It didn’t matter. Savior gave a sad, knowing smile. “It’s just as I thought. That girl you brought here filled your head with lies.”

He put as much strength into his voice as he could muster. “They’re not lies.”

She arched an eyebrow. “Aren’t they?”

On his right, he heard a wicked laugh, and his blood froze in his veins. He knew that voice. It was imprinted in his heart.

_ Not her. Please, not her. _

Slowly, he turned his head.

Charlotte stood beside him, the cruel smirk on her lips dripping with disdain. 

No, no, no. His body went cold with horror. Impossible for her beautiful face to look like that. This couldn’t be happening, couldn’t be real...

“Savior said it would be fun to play with you.” Her voice was hard, rough. A voice like that could never belong to her, and yet it was undeniably the voice he cherished. “But I never thought my lies would actually work. Did you really believe I loved you?”

Her words tore a hole through his chest. He tried to speak, but he couldn’t find enough breath.

Thoughtfully, she tilted her head. “You’ve been an interesting diversion, I’ll give you that.” She chuckled. “Who’d have thought I could make an ant believe it was a butterfly? All the more fun to crush it beneath its anthill.”

He was suffocating. Her scornful gaze burned his skin, but he couldn’t look away, not from that face. It had to be a lie. A trick. She loved him. She’d never betray him, never.

“You love me…” he managed to croak.

Her laugh was sharp enough to cut. “You did believe it. How pathetic.”

Savior sighed, and he started, reminded suddenly of her presence. “Poor Ray. I would have saved you this pain. I told you this would happen if you tried to think for yourself. If only you’d trusted me.”

He couldn’t tear his eyes away from Charlotte. “No…”

“Do you see now?” Savior’s voice was gentle in a way that made him shudder. “No one can love a useless creature like you. I tried to make you worthy, but you abandoned me. You repaid my love with betrayal.”

Abandoned, no… No, that wasn’t… he hadn’t…

Had he? 

Was he a traitor?

“Charlotte,” he whispered.

Charlotte’s beautiful face twisted in anger. “Don’t say my name. A bug like you doesn’t deserve to speak to me.”

World spinning, he fell forward, his hands hitting the floor hard. “I’m sorry. I’ll be good.”

“You?” A short, derisive laugh. “You can’t be good. You’re useless. And do you know what that means?” 

No. No.

She enunciated every word. “It means I’m leaving you alone.”

With that, she turned on her heel and walked away.

Cold terror swept through his body. “No.” He choked on the word. “Charlotte. Don’t leave me. I’m sorry. I’ll be good. I’ll be good!”

Lurching forward, he tried to follow her, but Savior grabbed his collar, jerking him back, the motion cutting off his air supply. “Moron. I can see that you’ll have to be cleansed until you understand again. You belong here. You’re too stupid for the outside world. Do you still believe she might love you?” She laughed. “I told you, you’re not good enough to be loved. You’ll work, and you’ll work, and when you’re no longer useful, I’ll throw you away like the worthless thing you are.”

WIth that, she pushed him forward, releasing him so that he fell, his face cracking against the tile.

“Charlotte.” He lifted his head, straining in desperation to see where she’d gone, but the room had gone dark, and he could see nothing. “Charlotte. Charlotte!  _ Charlotte!” _

Something shook his shoulder, and he sat straight up in bed with a scream. “ _ Charlotte! _ ”

“I’m here! I’m here! Shhh, Ray, I’ve got you, you’re safe, you’re safe. I’m here, you’re safe.”

Warm hands rubbed his shoulders, and he turned to see her beside him, brow creased with worry. “Don’t go!” he gasped. “Don’t leave me! I’ll be good, I promise! Don’t leave, don’t leave—”

She pulled him into her arms, tight, tight, her warmth enveloping his trembling body, radiating through him. His breath was heaving; he couldn’t get enough air, but she was here, she was holding him, and her presence enveloped him. This was real, wasn’t it? His own arms came up to wrap around her waist, hard, holding her in place. If he let her go, she would she run away? Terrified, he pressed his face into her hair. He was quivering like a baby. So pathetic, so weak.

“I love you, Ray.” Her voice shook with emotion. “I’ll never leave you. I love you so much. You had a nightmare, that’s all. You’re safe.”

He shuddered and wrapped his arms tighter around her. “You won’t go? You’ll stay?”

“Forever and ever. We choose each other, remember? Now, and again, and again, for the rest of our lives.”

That sounded familiar, but it couldn’t be right. “You choose me?”

“Always. Because I love you.”

He needed to see her face. Pulling back slightly, he looked for the lie in her eyes. There was none. Instead he saw — tears? She was crying? He’d hurt her, how had he hurt her? “Don’t cry!” He tried to hold back his desperation, hide how pathetic he was, but he couldn’t manage to do it. “I’ll do better! I promise. I’ll be good for you. Don’t cry.”

Sorrow twisted her features. “I don’t need you to be good. I just want you to be you. When you’re happy, I’m happy. Remember, Ray? Saeran? You’re free.”

...free?

That one word penetrated his haze, jerking him back to himself. He blinked, and his surroundings came into focus. Not Magenta. This room was warm and comfortable, full of the furniture he’d picked out. His home. His bedroom.

His love beside him.

_ That’s right. I’m home. _

Memories came rushing back. Magenta was in his past now, and he didn’t need to prove himself anymore. He was worthy all on his own. That was what Charlotte said, and that was what he was learning to believe in therapy. It was hard to remember, but he was getting better every day. He was free, and he could be whoever he wanted to be. He deserved that.

And Charlotte loved him.

Suddenly he felt lightheaded. The tension went out of him, and his body slumped, his head falling onto her shoulder. “It was a dream,” he murmured. “You’re here, and I’m safe.”

“Yes.” She kissed the top of his head.

“And you love me?”

“More than anything.”

He felt foolish asking, but he wanted to hear it. “Tell me why?”

It wasn’t a strange or new question, and she answered immediately. “I love you for all the things that make you you. Because in your soul, you are the most loving man I’ve ever met. You’re sweet and considerate and so, so kind. I love you when you’re soft and gentle, and I love you when you’re playful and silly. I love you when you’re sad and when you’re happy and when you’re angry. There’s not any part of you that I don’t love.”

He words washed over him, bathing him in joy. Surely he couldn’t deserve this. She couldn’t really see those things in him, could she?

He lifted his face to hers, seeking her lips, and pressed his own against them artlessly, urgently, craving the contact. To his surprise, he found desire quickly curling in his belly, pushing out the fear he’d felt only moments ago. She was here, warm and solid in his arms, and he wanted more of that — wanted, no,  _ needed _ , to feel every inch of her. Her response to his urgency was gentle, meeting his fervency with a soft caress of lips that only stoked the flames of his desperation. Her kisses were heaven, more intoxicating than any elixir. His hands moved against her back, savoring the feel of her. She was real, he could feel her. And she was happy.

He needed her to be happy.

It wasn’t enough. Scarcely thinking about what he was doing, he slid one hand down her thigh to the hem of her oversized t-shirt, fingers slipping beneath the fabric as his other hand cupped her breast.

She gasped, and then her lips were gone. Had he made a mistake? Suddenly afraid, he opened his eyes to see her face only inches from his, her pupils blown wide. “Saeran, are you sure? Is this what you want?”

Relief filled him. She wasn’t stopping, just making sure he was okay. She was so good about that, so caring and kind. The desire in her eyes heightened his own need, and with a soft groan, he nuzzled his face against her neck. “ _ Please _ .”

Immediately, she moaned, her head falling back, exposing her neck to his lips, allowing him to nip lightly at her skin. In response, she grabbed fistfuls of his shirt, tugging it up to expose his stomach so she could run her hands along his flesh, setting him ablaze. It was nearly impossible to extricate himself from her embrace, but somehow he managed to pull back just enough to yank her nightshirt up over her head, baring her beautiful body to him. 

The sight of her drove him wild; the curve of her breasts, her hips, her stomach. God, she was perfect. He tried to touch her again, but she was pulling frantically at his own t-shirt, so he helped her get it off, and they fell upon each other once more.

She was so needy, so eager for him. His heart swelled to know he could make her feel this good. How was it possible she could hunger for him the way he did for her? No matter how many times she told him she loved him, wanted him, he didn’t think he’d ever stop being surprised by it.

Dizzy with lust, he took her breasts in his hands, running his thumbs over her nipples and eliciting a breathy moan. God, he was so hard for her. He craved her like a man starved, and her soft sighs and needy pants drove him more and more crazy. 

Her hands tugged on his shoulders, pulling him down onto the bed with her, then slid down his body to grasp his hips so that they were flush against her, his cock hard against her leg, pressed against her side as she lay on her back. When she rolled her hips upward, his world spun.

She was happy when he did this. Her obvious desire filled him with pride. Yes, he was doing it right. He made her happy. She felt good like this. 

He wanted to make her feel even better.

With her quiet moans filling his ears, he leaned forward to press his lips to her breast, sucking gently on her nipple. One hand trailed down her body to her panties, then hesitated.

Her hand on his hip began to move, pulling him against her in a rocking movement, and as his cock rubbed against her leg through the fabric of his boxers, a groan fell from his lips. No, no. He needed to please her now; he couldn’t lose his focus. He slipped his fingers beneath the waistband of her panties, sliding down to find her hot core, wet with arousal.

She gasped, and the sound went straight to his groin. “Saeran… please…”

Yes, yes, more. More of his name from her lips, more sweet sounds of desire. He began to stroke her, revelling in the way her body started to writhe. God, he’d never get enough of her, could never give her enough.

Her movements became more frantic, and he sped up his pace, rubbing circles over her clit, drinking in the sight of her trembling form, the sound of her frenzied moans...

Suddenly she was pushing him away, and his heart almost stopped before he realized she was only moving to position herself on top of him, pressing kisses against his jawline in the way she knew electrified him. “Is this okay? I want you. Can we do it this way?”

Oh, god, yes, he wanted it. Wanted to sink himself inside her and feel the warmth of her body surrounding him. This was his favorite position, the one that drove him wild more than any other. He loved seeing her on top of him, watching as she took her pleasure from him, and her tight heat around him felt so amazing... 

But was it all right for him to do this? He wouldn’t last long this way. Wouldn’t that be selfish?

“You want this?” His voice broke when she sucked gently on the sensitive skin just behind his ear. “You don’t have to do it for me. I’ll do whatever you want me to.”

“I want this.” She nuzzled his neck as she spoke. “It shouldn’t be just about me, Saeran. I’m only happy when you’re happy, too. I love you so much. I want you to feel as good as I do. Please, let’s do it this way now, can we do it this way?”

That was right. Yes, that was right. She loved him, and she wanted to share everything with him. His nightmare had pushed that knowledge from his head, but as she lavished attention on him, it came rushing back. She loved him, and it was okay to believe he was worthy of her. It was okay to share what she could give as he gave to her as well.

In answer to her question, he reached for her panties, tugging them down, and the two of them wriggled out of their undergarments, kicking them off awkwardly. When they were fully naked, she straddled him, positioning her entrance over his cock, and paused.

God, she took his breath away. He drank in the sight of her exquisite body above him, all perfect curves and gorgeous skin. He’d never get enough of her. He could spend eternity with her, and it would never be enough.

“Okay?” she breathed.

“ _ Yes _ .”

Her sweet smile lit up his world, and she lowered herself onto him.

God.

Her heat enveloped him, overwhelmed him, so tight, so wet. So  _ right _ . This was right, the two of them together, joined just like this. For a moment, they were still, looking into each others eyes, savoring the feel of each other.

Then she began to move.

Oh, he wasn’t going to last long at all. He needed her too much. Despite his best efforts to control himself, his hips thrust up into her. The movement drew a near-growl from her throat, and she sped up the pace.

He was so close already, so close, so close.

The good thing about this position, his very favorite thing about it, was how easy it was to reach his hand between their bodies and find her clit. He did so now, and to his satisfaction, her moans grew louder, going up in pitch. The sound went straight to his cock. No, he couldn’t hold out much longer. He hoped that her reaction meant she was close, too. He needed her to come for him. At this moment, there was nothing he wanted more than to feel her tighten around him, to watch her body shudder from his touch—

She was trembling now, but not there yet. No, not quite. God, it was so good—

“Please,” he begged her, not sure if she would know what she meant, but barely able to form coherent thoughts, let alone words. “For me—”

And that was it. Her body jerked, and she clenched tight around him as she came. “Ahh— Saeran, Saeran—”

The sound of his name threw him over the precipice he’d been teetering on, and he came hard, cock throbbing, ecstasy pulsing through his body. She was the only thing that existed in the world, just her and her voice and her cunt clenching around him as his seed spurted into her.

As he came down, she collapsed on top of him, panting, pressing her face against his neck. With every nerve ending in his body still tingling, he wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. His precious love. With all his being, he cherished her, and he never could completely believe that it was okay for him to hold her like this, to be this close to her. But she showed him every day that it was right to do so, that they belonged together, and that she loved him just as much as he loved her.

Just like she was showing him tonight.

“That was amazing,” she murmured breathlessly.

Saeran had just enough energy to nod in agreement and nuzzle against her, eyes falling shut.

If he could, he would have liked to stay like that, to just fall asleep as they were, but practicality always won out. When he softened enough to slip out of her, she extricated herself from his arms and headed for the bathroom. He wanted to follow her, but his exhaustion overwhelmed him. A minute later she returned with a towel and helped him clean himself up.

She took care of him. She must love him so much.

Tossing away the towel, Charlotte climbed back into bed, pulling the sheets up over them and cuddling up close. “Are you okay?”

“I think I’m in heaven,” was his sleepy response.

She chuckled softly. “Me, too.”

It was a sin to waste even a moment of her attention, but he couldn’t keep his eyes open. The endorphins flowing through him, the comfort of her body against his — he felt safe, and secure, and loved. Completely and utterly loved.

Nightmare forgotten, he let his mind go, and the last thing he heard before sleep overtook him was her voice saying, “I love you, Saeran. I will love you forever.”

He had beautiful dreams after that.


End file.
